Steel Panther at Shepherds Bush Empire

Steel Panther – Shepherds Bush Empire – 16 September 2009

Words by Brendan Monteiro / Photo’s by Marcus Maschwitz

Welcome to the whacked out utterly dabaucherous, spandex cladded, time machine mind fuck that is best know as Steel Panther. Gaining a lot of interest of late on these shores the four glammed out purveyors of 80’s hair metal make their way on to a stage that seems to small for such a riot act. Every audience member in the room, from the people on the floor all the way up to the folks on the 4th level, greet them with a solid and sturdy cheer as they pounce their way into Eyes Of A Panther. With Satchel and Lexxi Foxxx (who by the way has ridiculously cool hair) side by side swaying to the grooves, and Starr all over the mic like a sex fiend sussing out the ‘goods’ in front of him, they stylishly manage to have every person in a seat on their feet in no time at all.

The first song comes to an end and what follows is an onslaught of inner band conflict resulting in Satchel claiming to have slept with Michael Starr’s mother, or as Lexxi Foxxx put it, “Hey Michael, you came out of your mom’s vagina, Satchel came in it”. Jokes like these have people in stitches all night long. It was the one thing I was worried about before the show even begun, how many sex and drugs jokes can one possibly take but the quality of their non musical side is almost genius. Asian Hooker, Fat Girl and Party All Day go down a treat but it’s community property that has the old amphitheater shaking to its very foundations.

My highlights of the evening came in four forms. firstly Satchels solo in which he had me bleeding from the ears and then somehow found his way to the drums and gave storming journey down memory lane, including Metallica, Guns & Roses and then into a demented metal version of “Doe a Deer, a female Deer”. I was impressed with his ability to rock out like that. Secondly was the song Shocker, it’s just got some evil riffs mixed with some downright nasty lyrical content that had me in stitches. Thirdly was their onstage antics, lampooning the great 80’s metal stage maneuvers, especially Lexxi who seemed like a skinny Zoolander unable to turn left. And lastly, my personal favourite joke of the evening, Satchel started thanking certain people and thanked “the dude that invented the bic razor, so girls could shave their p***** every night” leaving enough room for lead singer Michael Starr to jump in with “yeah dude, no one wants to go down on a chic and wrestle ZZ Top”.

Coincidental maybe? They are supporting the Southern legends at the end of October. Parody aside, these four sure do know how to throw a monstrous show so if you have not seen them before, make a plan for the Wembley show or miss out on a night that will leave you wanting to grow your hair, invest in spandex and buy a Trans AM.

Setlist: Eyes of a Panther, Asian Hooker, Fat Girl, Party All Day, Community Property, Guitar Solo, Hell’s on Fire, Girl from Oklahoma (Essex), Shocker, Stripper Girl, Death to All but Metal, Turn Out the Lights

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